After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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