You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
