Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
