Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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