STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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