Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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