She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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