It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
