I just pynch a tree in the face
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I need a beard to bite.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
