A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Buhtt sex?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
