Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
