wat bout pragnant strippers??
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
