I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
