Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
