she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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