literally had 100 drinks last night.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
