Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
