it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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