omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
