It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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