Porn is love you can see.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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