you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
