Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Acid is not a monday night drug
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
