at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
