all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
