So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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