This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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