do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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