3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
