She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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