I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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