hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
