I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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