I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
