His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
