I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
