I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
