I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
