So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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