1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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