Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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