So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize