Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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