So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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