I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
