Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize