I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
