she was so not down for the gang bang
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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