Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
