Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
