Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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