whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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