I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
