uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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