i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
