I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
