it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
