its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
