I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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