Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
