Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
